WHAT JUST HAPPENED?!

Written by Cynthia McIntosh
Success With McIntosh

We’ve all had times in our lives that we can look back on and wonder why things happened the way they did.  As I write this blog, many people in Texas are dealing with tragic losses.  Some of them have lost absolutely everything.  Some have even lost loved ones to the storm they named Harvey.  It is said that Harvey was a 1 in a 1000 year flood event.  That’s huge, no matter how you look at it!  And with it came devistation.  I honestly can’t imagine what the wonderful people of Texas are going through.  I’m sitting in my studio in sunny Southern California complaining about the triple-digit heat!  Not a drop of rain here, and we could use it!  Meanwhile Houston, Texas is under water.  And I think about our neighbors in Houston and what they are going through, and the heat doesn’t seem so bad!

I can look back over my life and see a lot of pain, disappointment, and regret.  But I can also honestly say that all of it has worked together to make me who I am today…it has made me strong; it has made me determined; it has made me focused; it has taught me to be very sensitive to the needs and feelings of others; it has taught me compassion.  It has given me an intense desire to help those around me.  It has taught me not only to love those around me, but to be able to accept love from them.  It has taught me humility.  And above all, it has taught me that if I focus on me and my problems, my problems look huge –  but when I focus on the needs of others and how I can help them, my problems tend to really diminish.

I pray for those in Texas who are dealing with such terrible devistation and feel like they have lost everything.  I pray for stength for every one of them.  I pray for courage.  I pray for comfort.  And I pray that God will bring people into their lives to help them and show them love.

God bless each and every one of them in a very special way.

My heart goes out to all of you.

And may we all treat each other with respect, consideration, love, and compassion.  Everyone has “stuff”, and we never know what the person we are talking to is going through.  Sometimes something as little as a smile, or a compliment, or a word of encouragement can change a person’s whole day, and sometimes even their life!  And the icing on the cake is that if you are thinking about others, it makes your life easier as well, because you aren’t so focused on your own problems.  Just sayin’.

So go out there and make a difference in someone’s life.  Being a positive influence in the lives of those around you is a big part of living a successful life, no matter what success means to you!

Cynthia McIntosh

©Success With McIntosh
http://www.successwithmcintosh.com

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Tree or Tumbleweed?

Blog – 8/28/17small tumbleweed

Written by Cynthia McIntosh
Success With McIntosh

 

So, I asked a question this week. Did you see it? What did you think when you read it? Let me guess…

Was it, “HUH?!”?

Well, let me quickly explain the question, and then maybe it will make sense, and hopefully it might even get you thinking.

The question was, “Are you a tree, or a tumbleweed?”

So, a tumbleweed. Let’s start there. What is a tumbleweed? Well, it’s not much really. It’s a piece of “whatever”, that blows around wherever it happens to be blown, picking up more “whatever” that it passes along the way, until it eventually crashes into something…

tumbleweek

where it gets stuck.

Ever feel like a tumbleweed? I will admit, I have. I’d run around doing what had to be done, putting out fires, making everyone happy as much as I could (and failing miserably, I might add), controlled by whatever was going on around me, whatever people said or thought, how I felt, and basically being blown around wherever my circumstances sent me. And since circumstances, how I felt, how people felt, and priorities change with the direction of the wind, I was constantly feeling like I was just getting blown around and completely out of control.

A tree, on the other hand, has roots. Some deeper than others. I heard someone recently say that the Redwood trees grow to be hundreds of feet tall, but their roots only go down three feet! However, they go down three feet, then spread out and wrap themselves around the roots of the other trees around them. What happens then is that when big storms hit, they hit against the whole forest, not individual trees, so the trees are very strong – and remain unharmed. In fact, he went on to say that there are trees in the Redwood Forest that have been dead for years, but are still standing, because the other trees around them are holding them up!!! (I think there is a lesson in there somewhere for us as well. But I’ll save that for another blog.) Isn’t that fascinating?!

tree

My point though, is that a tree has roots. It digs deep into the ground. I live to become more like a tree and less like a tumbleweed. I want to have strong roots, a solid foundation, to know who I am, to stand strong on what I believe in, and to live life with conviction and passion. I want to be a tree that produces fruit for others, shelter, comfort, and beauty.

The thing about a tumbleweed is that it rolls around picking up more and more junk (negative things people say, bitterness, frustration, anger…) along the way, and becoming more and more dangerous to those in its path.

So now, what are you…
A tree, or a tumbleweed?
©SuccessWithMcIntosh
If you would like finding more stability and direction in your life, feel free to contact us. We would love to hear from you and help you create the life you are looking for. We would be honored to be a part of your success story! Just go to http://www.successwithmcintosh.com and contact us, or call us at 866-636-4696, and we look forward to talking to you about creating a blueprint for your desired future.

CRAZINESS!!!

Okay, I’ll go ahead and admit it…I’ve been out of touch!  BUT you’ll be thanking me here very soon!

Actually, it’s been a long six months….lots of good, exciting changes, and some not so good and exciting.  The not so good and exciting news is that it is with a very heavy heart and much sadness that I have to announce that I am no longer on Indie104.  At least not for the time being.  They are in the process of going through some changes of their own, and I’m not sure where it’s going to “land”.  I’m still involved with the Indie104 family, am helping to get things settled down, and hopefully someday soon I’ll be back on the air with them. Stay tuned, and I’ll keep you posted!

In the meantime, I have taken this opportunity to focus on the show on BBS Radio.  So you will see a lot of changes.  I’m getting some new staff on board, some new marketing experts, new guests (wait until you hear what we are doing on the show with guests!!!), a new format, and even a new co-host!  I’m so excited that I can’t wait to get started!  So you may have noticed some re-runs happening, and that is why.  But it will be well be worth it.  Once we are up and running as planned, I will have the wonderful opportunity of serving the music community in even more powerful and exciting ways, being able to meet more personally with each of you, and being more involved in your success.  So hang in there, thank you so much for your patience, and stay tuned!

Reach for the stars, never give up, and let me know if I can be part of your success!  God bless!

Cynthia McIntosh
Artist Development Specialist
Radio Talk Show Host
(866) 636-4696

“It’s a Crazy World Talk Show”
BBS Radio
http://www.bbsradio.com/itsacrazyworld
 
http://www.successwithmcintosh.com
cynthia@successwithmcintosh.com

The Hardest Word for Me to Say

yes-or-noYesterday was my day to meet with my coach.  It was my first day with this particular coach, and I wasn’t sure what to expect.  But she was great.  I’m looking forward to working with her.

The first thing she asked me was what I’d like to achieve over the next year.  That was easy.  I’m a list-making, double-checking, plan-creating, obsessively-organizing, detail-oriented human being if there ever was one. So I proudly told her that I have my one year and five year plans all written out and I know exactly what I want to achieve.  I rattled off what I want to accomplish this coming month, what I want to accomplish over the next six months, where I want to be at the end of 2017, and where I go after that.  “Great!”, she says.  “Sounds like you know exactly what you want to do!”

BUT THEN she asks me (coaches are known for asking questions that require one to
squirm…it’s what we do!) “What usually keeps you from achieving what you set out to do? What’s usually your biggest obstacle?”  GULP!!!  It was just as easy for me to come up with a quick answer to that question as it was to come up with one for the first – but not nearly as fun.  I explained that the biggest problem I have is that I love to help people.  That’s why I love my job.  I love making a difference in the lives of those I come in contact with. The downside to that is that I get wrapped up in helping everyone else, at my own expense.  I end up giving so much that I have nothing left for myself.  And I only stop when I have nothing else left to give…and that usually means I’m not in the place that my current plan intended me to be.  So my coach, of course, says “Well, ok.  Give an example.”  Unfortunately, that one was easy to answer as well, but also no fun.  At least five things came to mind that I have done over the past week that cost me big.  “Now mind you,” I tell her,  “I am glad I was able to do them, and to help my friends, but the problem is that now I am unable to do what I need to do in order to reach my own goals.  At least not right now. It just put me behind a few months.  At least I HOPE I get back on track!”  She was quiet for a moment, then asked me how long I’ve been doing this.  I told her that it’s my personality, and that I have been that way for as long as I can remember.  I enjoy nodoing for others.  And I feel really guilty if I have to say no.  I’ve been labeled a “mother hen”.  But I do it to the point that it takes up time I should be spending on myself or my business, and it takes up finances that should be used for other things.  I get so wrapped up at times with taking care of other peoples’ problems that it derails my own life.

Well, she’s my coach.  Doesn’t take a genius to figure out I have a weakness here!  It’s not like I don’t know it…just need a little help putting it into perspective and doing something healthy about it. That’s why I have a coach. But her response, for some reason, really seemed powerful.

Her response was this:

“If it’s happening to them, it’s intended for them.  The problem was intended for them, not you.”

It took a minute to sink in.  But the truth of the matter is that when I look back at my life, it’s true.  I look at my strengths, and I realize I developed them through my tough times.  I learned and grew through them.  And I’m glad I went through most of them.  So what she said had some very profound truth to it.  If I’m always saving people from discomfort or trouble, I inherit their problems, and deprive them of the opportunity to learn from their struggles.  Interesting.  Doesn’t make it any easier to say no, but it’s food for thought.

But here’s the deal.  I AM the kind of person that likes to help others.  That’s not a bad thing.  In fact, I like who I am.  However, we have many facets to our personalities, and all of them can be good or bad.  If I’m a quiet person, that can be good, unless I’m TOO quiet.  If I’m a strong person, that can be good or bad, depending on how I utilize that strength. This is no different.  It’s a wonderful personality trait, as long as I use it in a healthy way and use wisdom.  If not, it can continuously put me in tough positions.  It can effect many aspects of my life – my business, my time, my self esteem.  It can lead to bitterness and resentment.  It’s not healthy.  So, I need to practice saying “no”.  “No” is a complete sentence…that’s another pearl of wisdom my coach threw my way yesterday.

The bottom line is this:  Once my coach got me to look at my future and how my actions were affecting it, how my actions were keeping me from reaching my goals and making my visions become a reality, it has given me a whole new perspective on what I’m doing.  That doesn’t mean I will never help another person – far from it!  I love helping others.  That’s why I’m a coach.  But like everything else, I need to do it in a healthy way, and in a way that allows me to be successful so that I can help more peopleno-hand.

We all have weaknesses.  Saying “no” is mine.  Yours may be that you are afraid to admit you need help.  Or you are too shy.  It’s possible you don’t trust others easily.  Maybe you have a hard time keeping yourself from shopping.  What is yours?  Do you need help dealing with it?  If not,  what is your secret to overcoming it?  I’d love to hear your story!

Cynthia McIntosh
Success Coach – Highway 2 Success

Getting Through Storms in Life

We all have them.  And for many of us, when we are in the middle of them, they feel like they will never end.  We feel like they are going to drown us.  We feel like no one can ever understand what we are going through.  We isolate.  We lose sleep, or we sleep too much.  We don’t eat, or we eat too much.

the_sovereign_of_storms_by_procrust-d38gl3iWe all handle stress, frustration, and disappointment in different ways.  But how we handle it can make all the difference in the world on how we come out of the situation.  How we handle it often defines what the final outcome will be.  And how we handle it is a choice.  I know it doesn’t always feel like it, but I really believe that it is.  I feel very strongly about this.  Let me tell you why:

Today I live in a house that I really enjoy, with people I love being around, and I have a wonderfully fulfilling career.  I have the world’s greatest coach (in my opinion), and I look forward to my future..But I want to share with you that it definitely has not always been this way.  In fact, I have to humbly admit that I regret that I wasted so many years feeling defeated by life!

Life hasn’t always been easy for me.  It isn’t always easy for anyone.  I’ve dealt with family issues, rejection issues, financial issues, and even cancer issues.  And for years it DID leave me feeling defeated.  But I’ve learned through my challenges that how I chose to approach them has a huge impact on how each chapter of my life ends, who I become through the challenges, and whether the challenges end up being destructive or being a blessing.

You see, up until a few years ago, I had been an accountant.  I had spent the majority of my lifetime  making my living on a computer.  Then one day I woke up in the hospital. I was told that while I had gone into the hospital expecting to have minor surgery for skin cancer,they went to remove the cancer on the back of my hand and found that it was much more than they had anticipated.The cancer had already eaten away all the nerves, tendons, muscles, and even veins in my right hand –  and yes, I’m right-handed.  They had to take everything out.  To save my hand, they had to re-build it with muscles, tendons, and veins from my right arm, but I lost most of the use of my right hand and arm.  I do have to thank God that the doctors got to the cancer in time (within being a few days too late) to stop it from going into my bones in my hand – that would have been a game changer, and I wouldn’t be writing this to you today.

After surgery, cancer treatments, and physical therapy, I needed to make some changes.  I was not able to use a computer as I had before, and I was forced into a career change.  Thankfully, I have wonderfully supportive friends, because at the ripe old age of (?) I found myself looking for a whole new career that did not require the use of my right hand and that did not require that I go outdoors much (another result of cancer).

After much time, prayer and thought, my desire to help people succeed and my love for people led me to research and ultimately take on life coaching as my new career path. I studied coaching, and it has been an amazing transition.  I feel like I am doing what I was supposed to be doing all along.  I feel released to be what I’ve always wanted to be.  I’m loving life!

Life still has it’s challenges.  It always will.  But I’m grateful that I now spend my time making a difference in the lives of others by doing something I love – all because a really tough time in life forced me to leave my comfort zone and do something completely new.

I don’t spend a lot of time talking about life’s challenges.  grid9_Beautiful-Weather2  I prefer to focus on the things that I am grateful for.  But I know that some of you are going through struggles, and I hope that this story can be an encouragement to you.  If you or someone you know can benefit from this story, please share it – that’s what makes it worth while for me!

If you have a story you would like to share or if this article has touched your life in any way, please share it with us by commenting to this post.  We’d love to hear from you!

And don’t forget to surround yourself with positive people who will support you.  Being around positive, successful people is the first step to having a successful life of your own.

Cynthia McIntosh
Success Coach
Highway 2 Success

WHEN IS A COACH NOT A COACH?

It’s amazing to me that even though coaching is the second-fastest growing profession in the world, rivaled only by information technology (as reported in a National Post article), many times when I tell people I’m a coach, they look at me with glazed over eyes Successand ask me what that means.  Professional coaches actually do try and find other titles other than “coach” in order to describe what they do.  So I thought I’d take a minute to explain what it is that I do as a coach, and what I don’t do.

Let me start off by describing the traits I personally feel are requirements in any coaching relationship.  First off, a coach is someone who provides a safe and honest environment for his/her clients.  Notice I did not say comfortable, and I did not say easy. Being honest is not always comfortable, and it is not always easy.  But it has to be safe.  A good coach is your teammate.  Your coach is there to support you in whatever way you need in order to achieve your goals.  Sometimes this requires helping you see and face some hard, cold truths.  Sometimes it requires kicking you out of your comfort zone.  But this is why your coach has to be someone that you feel completely safe with, and someone that you know is absolutely, positively, 100% focused on your success.  If you don’t feel this way about your coach, you won’t have the trust required to get through the process.  Coaching is a unique professional relationship.  While many professional relationships require trust, confidentiality, and professionalism, coaching also requires teamwork.  You’re a team in your journey.  A coach does not make your decisions for you, does not tell you what to do, and does not do it for you.  A coach is there to listen to you in a way that few people will (we call it Level 3 listening), to help you think things through, to help you figure out what the right path is for you, to help you figure out how you want to stay on that path, to hold you accountable to your decisions, and to support you as you work your way to your success.

So that is who a coach is to a client.  Many times people ask me what the difference is between a coach and a consultant, a therapist, a mentor, or a counselor.  So let’s look at some of these differences.  Sometimes a coach wears more than one of these hats, and in these cases, should keep these services separate, in my opinion.  But let’s take a look at consulting as an example.  A business coach would sit down with a client and discuss things such as relationship issues, fears, frustrations, managerial difficulties, motivational problems, etc.  The coach may meet with the clients’ teams and find out what is keeping them from maximum performance.  The coach may meet with individual team members to dig deeper into what can be done to influence the team members and increase productivity.  Or the coach may work directly with the client alone and work on issues like prioritizing, working through personal issues that are affecting the client’s work.  But the coach discusses these things with the client, and helps the client think things through on his/her own.  The coach does not direct the conversation or the outcome.  In other words, by asking questions, the coach helps the client find his or her own answers and to find clarity.  One of the main ways of doing this is to help the client identify his/her core values, what is really important, and then to help prioritize.  And as the coach and client work together, the coach gives the client steps to take and work to do to ultimately obtain the results that the client has chosen to work towards.

In contrast, a consultant will go in to a business, look at it, and tell the client what needs to be done, and most often do the work necessary.  For example, a business owner may bring in a marketing consultant.  The marketing consultant will take a look at the business, create a marketing plan, and usually have a big part in putting that marketing plan into action.  Or a financial consultant will come in and look at a business, create a plan, but will also be involved in putting that plan together.  A coach, however, will only help a client identify his or her desired results, create a plan, and then support the client in taking the necessary steps to put the plan together.

There ARE coaches, however, that offer other consulting services.  For example, I have a background in accounting and in marketing.  I have a lot of experience in both.  So if I find that a client really needs social media marketing in order to reach the desired goals, I may offer to provide those services, separately from the coaching contract.

Often I am asked what the difference between a therapist and a coach is, so let me hit on that question for a minute. When I was going through coaching training, they explained it in a way that made it really simple to understand, so I think I’ll just borrow their explanation.  The way they put it was, a therapist helps unhealthy people to get healthy.  A coach helps healthy people to excel and to be their best.  The reason this is important to understand, is that if you understand that a coach is not someone who “fixes” people or problems but that takes completely healthy, normal people and helps them reach their full potential, then you understand that everyone can potentially benefit from having a coach.  I personally have a coach of my own.  I’m blessed to have one of the best.  He isn’t cheap, but because he is a great coach, he is worth every cent I pay him, and in all honesty, he’s worth more.  He helps me make tough decisions.  He helps me figure out my long term goals.  And most importantly, he has helped me create a vision that has made my life exciting and fulfilling.  THAT is a coach, and I’m proud to be one.

I hope that answered some questions that a lot of you have had.  Feel free to comment to this post if you have any questions!

To your success,

Cynthia McIntosh
Highway 2 Success